Dear Kate,

I still love you.

I know I've said I'm sorry a thousand times before, but I can't bring myself to say it again-- I just want so badly to move on, and no matter how sorry I am, I just can't do it anymore. Can you accept that? I'd think you'd be able, but it's so hard to tell now that you're not responding to my letters.

But I want you to know that you really did mean the world to me. Remember when we met in person for the first time? I was so nervous, travelling all the way across the border, just for some girl with a problem like yours... to tell you the truth, it wasn't until I saw your face for the first time that I knew that I was in love; just as much as I am now. I know, I'm being clingy, I need to move on, I need to stop saying these things. It's just easier said than done. I don't think I'll ever stop being in love with you, Katie, never. But if I can just say this, do you remember how, when I finally saw you in person for the first time, I said you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever met? I meant it, I really did. You never did understand, beauty isn't in the hips or your tits or any of those other things you were so worried about; it's in the eyes, Katie, and you always had the strongest, most determined eyes. I'll never forget them.

Most people don't seem to get our relationship, and it seems so trivial for me to say that, given that you're the one who went through all the hardship; I just had to get over a little discomfort. It's funny that, I felt so insecure at first, so hesitant when you confessed your love to me, I had so much trouble making sense of it. Now life without you is... it's hard, Katie, I'm not going to lie. It's really hard. I just wish you were back here, that I could see you again.

Right after that first weekend we shared together, I was hurting the whole drive back to Canada. I wanted to never leave your side, just to hold you forever and help back up that determination, to hug you and kiss you and treat you like a proper lady forever. Every day since you've been gone feels like that one drive, except this time, I know I'm never going to see you again. And I don't know where I'm heading now. I'm trying so hard to move on, but... well, I'm repeating myself. I repeat myself a lot these days. I'm just no good at coping.

I miss you, Katie, I miss you so much. I'm just writing this so you know, wherever you've gone now, that I'll always love you. You were my first love, and my only; no matter what anyone else says, no matter what anyone else thought you were, I know for a fact that you were the most beautiful, amazing woman ever.

Love,
  Sam

PS: I phoned the detective in charge of your case yesterday, and he said that they had some suspects in custody. The hope that you'll get justice seems like the only comfort I have left these days.

PPS: I still love you.